I get the niggling feeling that sometimes, I’ve failed as an older sibling. But as always, I have too much pride to admit it.

The thought of me leaving hangs over our conversations a little. But for that moment, lying on our backs with just the right amount of distance between us (none), I really did feel unconquerable, almost triumphant.

 I don’t think anger is necessarily a bad place to start. It stems from outrage, indignation and it’s a good motivating force. But I recognise that some part of it is naive and premature, and pretty much useless too. Everything now feels like it needs to be asserted to prove that it’s a matter of “my principle” - perhaps I feel like I need to stand for something otherwise I’ll stand for nothing at all - and when I look back at it all I might laugh, really really hard, at myself.

On a sidenote to myself, management culture in a law firm is tremendously important. Vast majority of the small-medium law firms in Singapore still seem pretty pedantic and hierachal in a very unhealthy way. Perhaps most businesses are so?

As I walked out one evening

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.’

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver’s brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you’ve missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror?
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.’

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.

Setting a goal to not let time fly by.

Please don’t tell her

Every phase of friends teaches me that are always new things to be learned. Song has not much to do with this wave of nostalgia but it reminds me of my study sessions in class and in the library as it was my go-to song for math problem questions.

Oh, them feels.

(Source: youtube.com)

And still I wrestle with my subconscious insecurities


Bright and Fiery DIY Redscale Photos Taken with the Konstruktor

Are you up for a cool Lomographic experiment? Load a roll of your very own DIY redscale film into that Konstruktor you’ve just built and snap away! http://bit.ly/1sFYbEO