When I think about it, there’s actually very little things holding me together. Very little to stop me from heading down a self-destructive path that is every bit as intoxicating as it is repulsive.
I’ve let my own self-pity and anger run unbridled and once again, I forgot what it means to truly care for or love a person.
The realisation of this comes too late and I wallow again in more regrettable anger. Ultimately, I am my own undoing. At my worst, I’m really quite a selfish insecure self-interested person.
And still I believe I’m greater than all this. All my hubris and pride has laid waste to whatever efforts I may have made before. I yearn for a more simple, carefree kind of happiness, but I think we’re past those days. Now I only seek pockets of your time, and in those pockets we have, bring small joys to our otherwise packed schedules.
work is finally picking up and quite happy and fortunate to have such friendly and patient mentors. I’m beginning to better see myself as part of this “law profession” but I’m not sure how I may make a difference to it/a firm. In fact…I’m not sure how lawyers make a difference to this society besides generating quite a lot of paperwork and providing (some) organisation in an already highly bureaucratic society. I know it’s all for formality’s sake but all the mitigation pleas affidavits feel pretty artificial and unnecessary.
The weekend was pretty hectic but helluva fun. Organising orientation is much better than participating in it, so it was more fun than I expected, apart from the crazy sun and dirt and soap and water. Rushed off after the whole programme was over to get a cake, then went to wenhan’s house for a shower.
The surprise was pulled off pretty hilariously and somewhat awkwardly, but finally, a surprise that actually caught him by surprise. After a lot of guy banter (honestly it really is much easier to be friends with boys), we drove out for midnight horror movie and later supper. Wished I could’ve drawn the strength to stay up a little more/say a little more/do a little more but unfortunately crashed on the couch to the sound of soccer commentary.
Crawled out of bed late, headed for beach road prawn mee for brunch. BEACH ROAD PRAWN MEE I will definitely miss you once summer is out. Sigh not doing much on the domestication front and will definitely suffer when I’m on my own again. Chilled at Penny U for awhile more before heading back for some time with Steffy and HP movie.
Caught a bit of sashimi fatigue over dinner but still ended the day pretty well. What’s birthdays but an excuse to celebrate yourself and do the laziest things you would not usually do?